TubaForum.net

...many of you don't post enough.

Your stuff and your views are interesting to the rest of us NON-monitor/NON-administrator peons.

Use this post as fodder for jokes and wisecracks, but ALSO (please) talk more about your stuff, and your opinions.

OK, here's your warped Christmas joke for the season:

Did you hear about the Masochist's letter to Santa?

Dear Santa,
I've been a very naughty boy this year. Please put me on your naughty list. Don't bring me any presents. Spank me for being bad. Hit and abuse me. Throw lumps of coal at me. Make the reindeer run over me with the sleigh....

Santa Replied, "No."

Thanks for pickin' up my slack, bloke.

Yeah, i don't post enough.

As for holiday humor, google Jabez Dawes.

Is that the old Nash alternative thing to "Twas the Night Before Christmas"...??

T'was the night before Christmas, and all thru the house,
hundreds of creatures were stirring , and each was a mouse.

All the stocking were hung by the chimney with care
but, by the holes eaten thru them, you could tell mice were there.

All the children were were crying in their beds in despair,
for the mice were there too and the cupboard was bare.

St Nick and the reindeer on the roof were a landing,
as the mice raced up, more food demanding.

The reindeer were startled and scared into flight
and Santa and sleigh took off into the night.

The very next morning no presents were there
for Santa and reindeer had crashed from the air.

And you thought things couldn't get worse.
I'm sorry to bring you such a moribund verse.

Half guard can be very effective in a real life situation and is underated as a self defense technique. Oh, does this have to be tuba related? Just sharing opinions about my stuff.

Jabez Dawes is indeed an Ogden Nash poem (i assume that is the Nash to which you were referring, but as this isn't Highlander, there can be more than one) I don't think Night before xmas was a direct inspiration, but i could be wrong. Mayhap i should reread it...

Reread it, and yeah, I guess, the climax of the poem is does in fact parody Night before xmas, but the poem is more than just that.

Oh yeah. the night before xmas mouse poem is also good. I approve of Moribund. And that is alsoa right fine parody. For some reason a former English teacher dubbed me Mr, Moribund. And former boss dubbed me the Captain. I am not sure i will ever understand nicknames.