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I was just wondering if anyone has ever done a transcription of this authentic Scottish music for tuba quartet with straight mutes…

Let me find an old traffic cone first...

A thousand years ago, the Irish gave the pipes to the Scots. The Scots still don't get the joke.

(Before you throw flames, I am one, although I don't know which clan, because my family dropped the clan name and adopted the surname "Pope" [which other than the guy in the white pointy hat can also refer to a clan leader, a guild leader, or any esteemed elder of a community]. How do I know? They all hid out across the Thames River southwest of London in a then-little town called Walton-on-Thames, known to be a refuge of Jacobites and Catholic recusants before the Catholic Emancipation Act of 1829). The church is St. Mary's, and the organ case was given to the church by one of the Jacobite kings, reputed to have originally housed a Bernard Smith organ [those who know the history of pipe organs will understand]. And my 10th generation ancestor was named James, and he was baptized in that church in 1723. Think about it: so soon after the Glorious Revolution of 1688, who else would name their son James than a Jacobite?)

So I get to tell the one-liner.