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So I was rewatching Wayne's world for the 100th plus time the other day. I always laugh when he goes to test out the guitar and the music salesman points to the "no Stairway to Heaven" sign (Denied!).

Especially for those of you who work in tuba stores, what sign would you put up if you could?

Happy Friday everyone!

No Long Tones...

I could imagine a “no Ride of the Valkyries“ sign, but I might prefer a “no Penderecki“ sign.

I'm answering my own question, but I'd probably go with "Holst first suite" since that's what I automatically play !

Has to be Smoke On The Water

I know, I know. Can you name this orchestral audition piece?
1st clue is: the the last note of the phrase ends with a low "E".
2nd clue is: Use these words to sing the lick..."I CAN'T,,,PLAY low. I CAN'T,,,PLAY low."

No “Ride”

No shirt

No shoes

No dice!!

NO FOUNTAINS!

No "maximum volume this horn can put out" tests.

GC wrote:No "maximum volume this horn can put out" tests.

Which in any case (and certainly in mine) finds the limit of the player long before the limit of the instrument.

But the answer can only be the Ride. There are lots of contenders, but the Ride is the undisputed king of Elephant Room headaches.

Rick “who can’t,,,,play low” Denney

One December a few years ago I was playing an hour for a Salvation Army kettle. A joker walked by and yelled, "Freebird!" I thought a few seconds, and dived in and played the entire opening section melody done on the slide guitar, complete with the octave jump at the end before the vocals come in. He was floored.

Do people playing The Ride play in the original key? Or transposed for band?

My efforts to learn it gave me the impression there are 5 sharps...

And by all rights, i have no excuse not to have learned it, as internation tuba appreciation day usually coincides with a college festivity i partook of many years that is kicked off with The Ride.

That said, the chaconne of Holst's first is a default that pops immediately to my mind to start feeling my way around a new instrument.

I rehearsed Ride-o-Valkuries with a community band a couple of years ago.
I can't remember what key it was in (no sharps), but the entire band was executing the primary rhythm in the same way that high school students typically play it the very first time they encounter it.
It was rattling my brain, so I took an unscheduled restroom break.

It’s in five sharps, and most Elephant Room exploits I’ve heard keep it there. But even in that key it still lays well on a Bb contrabass tuba, particularly if you aren’t afraid to mash 1-2-3.

As to the rhythm in community bands, I once tried to persuade our trombone section by pleading and demonstration to play it correctly, but eventually gave it up. They stubbornly played it eighth, two 16ths. I don’t recall what key that was in.

It wasn’t the only damage visited upon Wagner that evening.

But I’ve also heard my recent recordings, so I have no standing to complain.

Rick “who practices the Ride every 4-5 years just for fun, but not in public” Denney

Matt Walters wrote: ↑Sat Oct 10, 2020 6:55 am I know, I know. Can you name this orchestral audition piece?
1st clue is: the the last note of the phrase ends with a low "E".
2nd clue is: Use these words to sing the lick..."I CAN'T,,,PLAY low. I CAN'T,,,PLAY low."

I hear this excerpt being molested the most at conventions and gatherings, with the Ride being the next most molested. Kicking a metal garbage can sounds better.

Rick Denney wrote: ↑Tue Oct 13, 2020 5:48 pm Rick “who practices the Ride every 4-5 years just for fun, but not in public” Denney

Rick,
Your wisdom parallels (at least to me) the following:

"Knowledge" is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.

"Wisdom" is not putting it in a fruit salad.